i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
