Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
