I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You can't special order awesome
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
