Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
this hospital has no fireball
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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