but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she peed on how many people?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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