Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
