He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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