Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think i got beer on your cat.
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