Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
