well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize