Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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