when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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