Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Sober January is a disaster.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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