he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
