I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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