I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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