CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
