And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize