That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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