there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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