she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
