the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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