Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
