hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
