when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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