Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
