NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
