Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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