Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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