Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
