why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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