I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
