You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
