tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you had me at cake vodka
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
