I wish I only lived at night.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
