Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sext me about skeletons
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
