my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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