so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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