That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
