I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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