Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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