i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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