just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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