I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
whose parrot is this?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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