she woke up with a sticky ear
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just want nice things and good sex
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
