Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
