Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
