It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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