Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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