Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wear drunk well.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
