Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she woke up with a sticky ear
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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