I'm going to jail i love you
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
