I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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