Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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