I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
