If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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