i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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